Holiday Roadtrip!

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So I wanted to post something to let you guys all know that while I am typically a Grinch when it comes to holidays, I am actually looking forward to Thanksgiving this year.

The reason for that is because I get to go to Michigan and see my extended family, and having not seen my second Mama since June, I’m ready for a visit!

So that being said, I’m on vacation next week. I know, I know, I could have scheduled posts, and I didn’t because I’m a total slacker. Also, because I do not think that anyone is going to be actively concerned with it being a holiday week.

 

Happy Thanksgiving my lovelies, have a great holiday!

 

Why I Hate The Label “Feminist”

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I saw a blog on Huffington Post this last weekend that pissed me off. Not shocking considering most of the crap I read online these days does exactly that.

The post, found HERE, states the only times you should ever tell a woman to smile. It makes reference to another post about a woman that walked around NYC for the day and received catcalls. It talks about how the feminist movement makes this obscene for anyone to pretty much talk to a woman in any way.

Is that what we’re going for as a gender?

I do not claim to be a feminist, because I do not like the labels and connotations that go along with it. I think that while yes, some of it is on point with current issues women face, I still feel like it’s making a negative association with what really needs to happen.

That would be equality.

Feminism, to me, means that just because I’m female I shouldn’t be considered weaker than my male counterparts. Different yes, weaker, not exactly. I do not agree however, with the way that females in society have turned this into a male-hating issue. I believe that feminism should be associated with a woman who strives to be seen as an equal, to be respected in the same ways that men typically are. A woman who is in CHARGE of her own life/actions/decisions etc., and in no way should she be put down simply because of her gender.

However, this video, the message it’s sending, is enough to make my blood boil, because it’s doing nothing about equality, but instead making men feel bad for appreciating a woman’s beauty.

Women are catty – admit it ladies, you are – we ogle guys just as much as guys ogle us. I’m not saying that some of the comments that this woman faced, nor the backlash of Rush Limbaugh’s comments, are justified. In no way should one human being make another feel threatened or disrespected.

So to the guys that were talking about how sexy she is, or making lewd comments to her, that is uncalled for.

However, this post jumped on ANYONE that paid this woman any attention at all. The men telling her to have a good day, or who called her beautiful, were immediately labeled as cat-callers who were giving unwelcomed advances. Are you really that frigid? Is this the message we want our sons and brothers to come away with? To never give a woman any friendliness or politeness in anyway?

That is bullshit.

Women – admit it – when a guy notices you, if you like the way he looks, you would have NO PROBLEM with the catcalls in any capacity. It boosts our ego to know that we’re getting noticed by others. This isn’t some degrading thing, this is HUMAN psychology at its simplest form.

Do we really want to berate men and tell them that they should in no way compliment us if they notice us for fear of being labeled? We don’t like being labeled, why would we label them?

So because of the small demographic of men that feel that it’s okay to actively pursue a woman who has told them their advances are unwanted, or the culture that no really means yes, because of that, we’re supposed to stop EVERY compliment?

I get that some of these were terrible – the guy with the red hat that followed her and continued to talk about giving her a number etc., is what should be shown here. Anger at her unresponsiveness should be addressed as well. However, the ones that told her simply to have a good day, said nothing more, how can that be considered a cat-call?

This, to me, is just another example of a small sect ruining things for a whole collective. Should then, all men be labeled and told that even acknowledging a woman’s beauty is wrong, just because a few of them get out of hand with it?

Why I Hate My Muse

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So I’ve done posts in the past about my theory that my muse is a crack-head who sits and waits for my life to be in utter chaos before she wakes up from her drunken stupor and surprises me with an idea.

She has proven this yet again.

Everyone knows by now that I am in the process of moving, starting a new job, getting my kids on a new schedule because of my new schedule, as well as running this site and trying to edit my third novel. If that wasn’t enough, you know I was recently approached to be a contributing writer for a music review website.

I have outlines done on other novels I want to write, I know what my next book is going to be, but when I have the time to write, I typically end up redoing the outline of what I’m going to be writing. I’ve used the excuse that it’s timing, and that this time of the year is typically the worst for me creatively.

So enter in my lovely older sister, who has been trying to get me to write a book based upon an idea SHE has. Now yes, you may be asking yourself why she doesn’t just write the damned book herself. Trust me, I’ve asked as well. Becky is a very talented writer, however, she chooses to write when it’s fun, the minute it becomes work or hard, she doesn’t want to do it anymore. She is a hobby writer. This is fine, it works for her.

I write because of an uncontrollable need, that no amount of pain or hard work is going to stop me from. That is a calling, and yes there is a difference.

I have boycotted this idea for a long time. It leans towards sci-fi, which is not a genre I’ve ever really enjoyed much of, and because I am not about to take someone else’s idea.

Enter in my muse who is like a stupid flying monkey: she comes, she effs stuff up, she leaves.

Now I can’t stop.

Outlining started with an idea for one book and has now turned into three with the possibility of several others.

-bangs head on desk and dies-

Ain’t nobody got time for this!

This has led me to believe that I can’t possibly be the only one whose muse has made her life hell. So when has been the time that your muse came to you at the most inopportune time?

Why is NaNo in November?

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November and December are pretty bad months for me usually. Granted they rarely compare with the craptastic mess that August typically is, but I know every year that my November is going to be busy. However, every October I start contemplating working on NaNoWriMo.

For those of you who do not know what NaNoWriMo is, it stands for National Novel Writing Month. The idea is that you should spend the month of November writing a first draft of a novel that is at least 50,000 words. The problem is, November is the worst month for this. Granted it’s typically getting colder, so that means you’re more likely to be inside writing, so I get that. However, it’s the lead up to the holidays… you have vacation you’re probably planning, Christmas shopping/planning, Thanksgiving planning etc., the list goes on and on. And to top it all off: Let’s write a book in a month.

I don’t know if they think that the pressure will make us write faster or what, and yes I know I think better on a deadline within the midst of chaos, but still, even I know my limits.

Then you have the biggest problem I have with this November in particular.

I recently did a music review for Maroon 5’s new album. Not uncommon as I do music reviews a lot. What was uncommon was the message I received after from a popular music site.

The message was that they had found my site, particularly my posts on music, and would like me to write for them. The initial trial period is chaotic as I have to submit for several days in a row, on an actual deadline. However, after the trial period, I am free to submit whenever I’d like.

This message came the day after I’d accepted my new position and agreed to do a two-hour commute a day for my new job until I could get moved, so the timing was less than stellar, and I knew that it was just a bad time all the way around. Luckily, I can submit at any time to start my trial run to see if I’ll get approved for writing on their site, but would like to start this month.

While I love what NaNo is… it’s not going to do for me, or potentially benefit my career in writing, the way that these articles could.

So here is how my November is stacking up –

  1. Starting new job – this takes two hours more out of an already packed schedule.
  2. Moving – not just the actual move, but the packing and unpacking, finding a house etc.
  3. Running this website – blog posts, scheduling, idea mining etc.
  4. Editing – The 3rd novel MUST BE DONE!
  5. Transferring my daughters’ schools and all the adjustment with that.
  6. Going out of state for almost a week over Thanksgiving.
  7. Plotting out a new story (more to come on this later).
  8. Starting submissions for new commission pieces.

So do you see now why I hate NaNo being in November? Something always does happen to put the idea of participating that much further out of reach.

Justice for London

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**Today I am discussing the unthinkable murder of 6-year-old London McCabe. Please note the below article was written in its majority on 11/5/14 as this story was still developing. Further details may be available as you read this, but this is how I responded with the information at the time.**

 

By now you’ve all heard the news about Jillian McCabe who allegedly threw her six-year-old autistic son, London, off of a bridge in Oregon. The media and experts are having a field day with this but the main outpouring is understanding and validating this mother’s actions. It makes me physically ill.

No, my children are not autistic, but one of my daughters suffers from anxiety and panic disorders that can be overwhelming. I have also been friends to people who have severely autistic children and have seen first-hand the amount of stress this puts on a family. However, at no point do I think that just because of that, it gives you a justifiable reason to MURDER your child!

There is an article on NBC News that is nothing but an outpouring of “understanding” as they’re calling it, for Mrs. McCabe and the hard time she had. People who knew her speak of how much of a mental break this woman must have had because she is a truly loving mother.

I think London McCabe would feel otherwise if he were here to speak about it.

Let’s yet again jump on the bandwagon of mental health playing a role, just so we have something to blame.

These news articles talk about how Mrs. McCabe went to several inpatient treatment centers and left them, and failed to obtain the further medical help she needed. So this is where all the experts jump on this and state she had a mental breakdown due to the demands of taking care of her sick husband (Matt McCabe had been recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis), and her non-verbal autistic son and this caused her to not think clearly and throw her son off a bridge.

Okay, for one – She had been making comments about harming herself for a while (this is what led to the inpatient mental health treatments), and instead made the conscious effort to harm her son instead.

Second – she was of sound mind enough to call the police afterward. She was also of sound mind enough to describe in detail what her son looked like and was wearing when she threw him in the water.

As stated, no, I do not have an autistic child, I cannot even begin the amount of stress someone is under when dealing with this. However, I do not think the media or any of the doctors who are making excuses for this woman are in any way helping the issue.

One doctor in these articles was quoted as saying that non-verbal autistics cannot communicate love back to the mother so then it mitigates the maternal bond.

Um, what now? I respectfully call bullshit!

Your child cannot actively LOVE you, they cannot communicate anything more than need for the first year or two of their lives, so does this mean if you kill your children before they’re toddlers that it’s okay because they weren’t able to communicate they loved you?

People WAKE UP!

Your absurdity with mental health being a crutch for everything is astounding to me. You are making her out to be the victim here when the real victim is a beautiful little boy who couldn’t speak for himself. Justice should be sought for him, to set the principle that parents who have difficult children should not be able to just discard them as a piece of trash they’re throwing out the window.

If Jillian had been overwhelmed and looking for a way out of caring for her son, there are plenty of adoption services nationwide that were available to her.

However the psychology of it could very well be that it’s why she called the police, perhaps she didn’t intend to kill him, but instead knew that by calling the police she would get him taken away and then he would be someone else’s problem and she could just go about her life.

Again – none of this screams severe mental health issue because she was of sound mind enough to do it. We (society) just label it as a mental health breakdown when people do things that we cannot explain, or that a decent human being would never do.

The Oregon Judicial System needs to set an example of this woman, needs to let her know that they don’t believe her BS, and that there will be Justice for London.

Life And All Its Complications

Dream-Job

 

So you may have noticed that I haven’t posted much in the last few weeks… there is a reason for it that I’m about to explain.

After seven years within the company that I work for, I have made the decision to leave them in pursuit of other opportunities.

This change has led to a new position in the same field, but different responsibilities, and the commute is two hours every day added to an already busy schedule. This has thrown off my entire routine, as well as led to exhaustion as I started this new position and all the knowledge I’m trying to keep during training.

This means earlier to bed (which is a feat in and of itself), as well as getting up an hour or two earlier than I’m really used to.

It’s all an adjustment.

Here is the kicker: This is a GREAT thing.

I’m now in a position that was practically tailored to everything I want to be doing in my I.T.-related career. I’m working with a team of people that I was very nervous about initially, and after the first week I’ve realized that I will fit in really well here.

If anyone has followed here for the last few years, you know that my now previous position was filled with a lot of problems. I do not wish to slam the company I left, or the people in charge there, so I won’t get into a lot of the details. You all know my problems in the past of leading a team and the pressure that put on me when that meant carrying people who refused to work. This new position takes me out of that, which was the biggest stress in my professional life.

The bonus is – I get to move closer to my brother and older sister. No more only seeing them once or twice a month, I get to live in the same town and restore a connection with the siblings I desperately miss. I also get to put my kids in a better school district, one that will challenge them academically in a way they are not getting now.

I hope to be moved by December 1st, but until that happens, please bear with me as I transition into this and try to find the balance between my profession that pays the bills and the one that brings me the most enjoyment.

Fall TV Recap

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In September, I did a post on the Fall TV line-up. Since we’re almost to the Fall break, and most shows are 6-7 episodes in, I thought I would re-cap.

I’m not going to do a full recap on each show I watch, just a quick rundown of my favorite moments from some of them, what I’ve chosen to stick with from the original list, and what has been axed.

If you’d like to read the original post – you can do so HERE.

Mondays

What I’m Watching: The Voice, The Originals, The Blacklist
What I Gave Up: Gotham

Okay so there was never a doubt that I would stick with the Blacklist. I’m very glad that they are letting Meghan Boone have her natural hair back and no more of those heinous wigs we were forced to endure on Season 1. The skinny is that she is pissed at Red (although I don’t fully remember/understand why), she is loyal to Ressler and helping him through his pain pill addiction, which I called at an earlier date. She has a hottie sniper dude that was hired by Red to follow her. The biggest, that I already knew – TOM KEEN IS ALIVE!!!!! Let’s just skate past the fact that Lizzie has him in a cell and is borderline torturing him for information.

I watched the pilot of Gotham and Ben McKenzie wasn’t even enough for me to stick with it. For the comic book gurus that love the backstory to all of these characters, it would be a great show for you. Several people I know love it. It just made me realize that I like Batman a lot more than the story behind how he came to be.

 

Tuesdays

What I’m Watching: Supernatural, The Voice
What I Gave Up: N/A

So I had previously stated that I wasn’t sure I was going to watch Supernatural or The Voice (past the Blind Auditions). Then Supernatural went and gave me a Dean Winchester that I love… they gave up old Dean back. Battling his inner demons made him back into the DW I loved from season 1. And can I just say… Jensen Ackles is like a fine wine… he is only getting better with age. I don’t know what the writers/producers did in the off-season, but they have come back with a vengeance which is amazing!

As for The Voice – so while I’m not that fond of Pharrell’s or Gwen Stefani’s music – they have added a great presence to the team of judges, one that I don’t think even Shakira and Usher did, and they were my picks over Christina and Cee-Lo. That being said – can we just take a moment to appreciate the awesomeness that is Taylor Phelan? If you haven’t heard this guy, seen him perform, you are seriously missing out. Not to mention he is now on Team Adam which is where he belonged from the beginning.

 

 

 

Wednesday

What I’m Watching: Stalker
What I Gave Up: N/A

Stalker was an honorable mention in my last post about the Fall line-up. I wasn’t sure it was going to be enough to hook me, and I was so excited about Gotham. Well Gotham hit the chopping block for me and Stalker surprised me. It’s gritty in the way that The Following started out for me, and every week I find I’m becoming more and more invested in these characters. I highly recommend you check it out if you like cop-based shows that leave you guessing.

 

Thursdays

What I’m Watching: The Vampire Diaries, Grey’s Anatomy
What I Gave Up: Grey’s Anatomy (sort of)

So I DVR Grey’s, and watch it if I have a break and there is nothing else on. It isn’t one of those shows that is must watch for me anymore. The fighting between Meredith and Derek has been done in almost every season, it’s old, it’s over-used, and I’m sick of it. Oh and Meredith has another sister that came out of the woodwork. The thing that’s pissing me off over this is we have had, loved, and lost Lexie Grey… we have now lost Cristina Yang, and they’re trying to make Maggie into a mix of the both of them. Not a fan.

But…

Vampire Diaries…

I love this show for no real reason. It’s cheesy at times, a very a-typical teen drama. It brings me back to my fan-girl youth when Dawson’s Creek was prevalent, and you just had to have Jo with Pacey! The Damon/Elena/Stefan triangle gives me that… but again… I’m finding I’m almost over it. They have let Elena wipe her memory… they aren’t putting Steroline in action (Stefan and Caroline), and they’ve spent five episodes building a relationship between Bonnie and Damon to get Damon back to the living side without Bonnie. It’s giving me whiplash. I will continue watching because let’s face it: Ian Somerhalder’s portrayal of Damon Salvatore makes me weak in the knees.

 

Fridays

What I’m Watching: Constantine
What I Gave Up: The hope of ever being okay again

So I didn’t follow the comic books, and I hated the movie with Keanu Reeves, but Constantine has been the show that knocked me on my ass. Two weeks in and I’m on board with this show having a very long life. I know enough about the story because of the movie, and also from fellow fan-fiction writers I’ve known who used to write the story. I’m especially happy that NBC decided to push the envelope with the censors over what they can get away with. The pilot especially was an adrenaline-packed hour. Cannot wait to see what they do with this.

So there is my recap – what are you watching?

Just a girl and her dreams…

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